WebIf your boyfriend seems reluctant to put his trust in you, it may be due to some emotional trauma that hes suffered in the past. You are ignoring the above reasons and waiting passively for him to change. If your boyfriend doesnt care, you might notice that he always expects you to do favors for him, but he never seems to do anything for you in return. I am here to share my experiences with you, and help you with any questions you may have! You sound like me right before I dumped my ex. Try giving him more opportunities to take the lead. 17 tips to help you decide, 13 toxic effects of name-calling in a relationship, How often do couples fight? Your boyfriend may not be stringing you along, per se, but its possible that his lack of effort is a sign that your relationship will never be a happy and healthy one. 2 Try not to react at all Of course, if our relationship is relatively fresh or we know for a fact that we still love each other, the marriage example becomes too much of an exaggeration. Youre sending the message that YOU are not worth his undivided attention. You need the respect and appreciation and the effort. You also have the option to opt-out of these cookies. These cookies ensure basic functionalities and security features of the website, anonymously. Maybe he thinks he is. And all you need to do is trigger a biological switch inside him that will make him see you as the ultimate prize. In a healthy relationship, both parties are invested in what the other has to say, even when the topic of conversation isnt of great interest to them. Similarly, I was in a 3 year relationship a few years back with a guy who lacked majorly in this area (in addition to many other areas we were not compatible in). Its dispiriting, to say the least. It might even spur you into action to get the appreciation you deserve. If your boyfriend is only thinking about himself, sit down with him and discuss what you need from the relationship. What Is A Delta Male: Delta Male Personality & Traits, Things To Talk About With A Girl: 25 Engaging Topics To Talk About With A Girl. This doesnt need to turn into a full blown argument. What if nothing changes and my efforts are in vain? After youve gone through the hardest and most uncomfortable part -the conversation- one of the first steps to take is to spend more time together. amzn_assoc_linkid = "7b37bddd89f057061057990cffbb276b";
. A breakup always brings along negative emotions and a process of adjusting to being single again. If you like this article, like my Facebook Page to keep up with all my writing. We may also feel confused because we are uncertain of where things went wrong. I, however, couldnt take it (again, in addition to numerous other elements). It's been 3 years now, so you should know if you will be happy like this for more years to come. They love competing for scarce resources. You deserve special things, romantic gestures, and all of the little things that make you feel seen. What about the endless domestic to-do lists? Lets be optimistic, though, and assume that you are both committed to change. In many cases it has to do with the habituation process we talked about above. Updated: July 7, 2021. Guy always complain about what is expected out of them but when the time comes around and they have a daughter the don't want their daughters to date cheap guys or guy's that can't do nice things for them. If so, theres a chance he can work on his current attitude and My way of showing love is cuddling, snuggling and basically any physical contact. Also, he is a year younger than me and I am 18. In extreme cases, he might even feel like hes losing his sense of self because so much of his life revolves around you. When youve been together for a long time, its easy to fall into a bit of a rut. (24 tips if this is you), 13 signs a guy doesnt know what he wants (& what to do), 15 signs youre an option and not a priority, 21 ways to stop overthinking after being cheated on, Should I block my ex? When he has experienced what you feel and how it will surely impact his life, he will mobilize his resources to keep you happy. These cookies will be stored in your browser only with your consent. Performance cookies are used to understand and analyze the key performance indexes of the website which helps in delivering a better user experience for the visitors. If you notice that your boyfriend seems stressed or preoccupied, ask him whats going on and see if theres anything you can do to help him. Basically, it means that we gradually begin to take the other person for granted. This is far more common than one would think, and it makes psychological sense. Avoid anger and bitterness. Sarah Noel. "Safety and predictability are important, but its possible to experience this while also having a relationship that feels enlivening and exciting, Daniel Sher, clinical psychologist and a consultant for the Between Us Clinic, previously told Elite Daily. And he has no idea that the relationship is broken. And he is blind to how you are actually feeling about him, even if you have explained yourself to him clearly.
If you live together or spend a lot of time together, your boyfriend might feel suffocated and crave more space. Dont say things like You never do anything for me. to your boyfriend because he will probably feel threatened. Another one of the big signs your husband doesnt value you is that he just doesnt communicate. If your man is shutting down and doesnt want to do things anymore then you need to do your best to 3. amzn_assoc_ad_type = "smart";
Sign #11: Doesnt talk about the future. I thought Id test it out here to discover what you think. You either accept him as is or you find someone that meets your needs. Let him be the solution, don't tell him "you dont do this" or "you never do that".If you share your expectations and he won't or can't meet them then you know the relationship isn't working. But some of my needs aren't being met in this relationship. Am I asking for too much? You are too worthy to let yourself be walked over or dragged down by a person who does not give you what you need. A lot of men like to cling to fantasies of endless love slaves even after they have committed to one woman. You need to tell him the expectations you have of him as your boyfriend, in a fun and teasing way of course. Hes broke and has low self-esteem When Should Your Boyfriend Meet Your Family? That has faded with time. This is how healthy relationships work. If you want your SO to treat you like the royalty you are, then you need to make sure youre making them feel special, too. What is not as understandable is that your boyfriend neglects you, as if you were his second, third, or even last choice. They might say that a boyfriend is doing what his girlfriend wants him to in order to make her happy. And if it goes on too long, theres a danger hell start to resent you for taking up so much of his time and energy. If your boyfriend makes you feel like youre crazy or that your feelings arent legitimate, run away. It is important to approach the discussion as an opportunity to change what is wrong, not as criticism or an invitation to argue. My name is Hugh, and I am the owner and founder of GentlemenCenter. Given that you are taking care of everyone in the house, youd think it might dawn on him that nobody is taking care of you! If this is not the case, which in many instances it is not, you can begin to assume that there is something wrong with your relationship. Press J to jump to the feed. If 3 or 4 days out of 7 days a week you are the one to propose a plan or initiate a proper conversation, it doesnt necessarily have to be a problem. 50 Telltale Signs Your Man Is Taking You for Granted, The Male Brain: A Breakthrough Understanding of How Men and Boys Think, When to Refer Coaching Clients to Clinical Counseling, How to Become a Life Coach ~ the Ultimate Guide and Coaching Aptitude Quiz. 1. If he can't be that kind of guy you're looking for at that point then it's best to move on as he's not what you're looking for- and that's fine.
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Fact #1. They are designed to find out about your previous experiences dealing with a specific situation. Do guys really like girls with thick thighs? The best way to do this is to stop being so available. I guess it is importat to say that we started dating because of him. But the novelty has worn off over time, and his feelings have changed. Then, we can express our point of view without belittling theirs. This is for his own good as well as yours. Someone not paying attention or not listening to you when you talk can negatively impact your self-esteem, especially if its your boyfriend. Once he sees how good it feels to be loved and appreciated, he might start doing the same for you. I'd take the loss as a lesson and move on. amzn_assoc_ad_mode = "manual";
Hes a player and has no plans for the relationship 2. Having shared values with a romantic partner is often what draws people to each other, and those same shared values can make a relationship really work in the long amzn_assoc_placement = "adunit";
When a relationship is strained, the process is certainly hard and emotionally draining. Dont be a starter girlfriend. In a healthy relationship, both partners should feel free to be themselves and pursue their own interests. Hi there! Everyone is unique. Perhaps youre talking about moving in together, buying a home, or planning to get married or start a family. Sign #10: Not protective over you at all. Even worse, he probably whines and complains when he does have to put in any effort. I am not suggesting manipulation here, but backing up your requests with a greater level of seriousness. This cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. Stress at Work. He might not even realize that hes being emotionally immature and needs a little nudge to open up. Your partner not indulging your love language(s) is not a silly reason to break up. Enter your email to save your course selection for later. When our relationship becomes strained, for whatever reason, it is completely normal for our sadness or anxiety to spike. Just talk to him, Simply say something along the lines of, "you're important to me and I really love being with you. One partner wants sex and isnt getting it, so doesnt feel like being affectionate. My boyfriend follows random girls on Instagram, should I be worried? At one point in the beginning, there may have been manners and a sense of respect. Dr. Gary Chapman popularized the love language concept in his book The 5 Love Languages. In it, he explains that people often dont feel loved because their partners express love in a way that isnt meaningful to them. This may be a deal breaker for you and that is your choice, however, you may get the romance, but the relationship could suck. Having space in a relationship is healthy for couples, and could help your partner bring more to the relationship. And, lets face it, its often resorted to by people who have been together for a long time. You cant get enough of each other, and your boyfriend goes out of his way to make sure you feel loved and appreciated. Best of luck regardless of what you choose to do! The best thing you can do is teach by example. If you've been together a long time or have started to live together, you must remember to continue dating, Martinez said. We even may ask ourselves questions like When did he stop loving me, did I do something wrong?. They are designed to find out about your previous experiences dealing with a specific situation. (15 reasons & how to stop). Another sign is that you dont spend romantic time together anymore. The harsh truth is, youre not who he wants. While you likely wont feel the need to always be on your A-game once you settle into a relationship with someone, its still nice to keep your partner on their toes. You may begin to think that its your fault, that you must have done something to deserve being ignored. You bring him his beer. Mostly Im interested in how these facts jive with what you know to be true at the level of intuition and experience in your life. It could be a classic friends with benefits thing, so you can expect that hes really not interested in a relationship. #10: You're blamed when things go wrong. He doesnt like to make plans. In the meantime, try to build him up and make him feel good about himself. It is important to watch out for any changes in his life. What the experts say: There is an imbalance that requires adjustment but it may not be as one-sided as you perceive it to be. Im at a loss for what to do at this point. Let's see if we can help her through it (because frowning gives me wrinkles). Some people prefer physical touch, others prefer quality time, and others like to receive gifts. Maybe you are If this sounds familiar, read on to find out why your boyfriend doesnt do anything special for you and what you can do about it. Sounds like a keeper to me. What does the date under "Hey there I am using Whatsapp" Status mean? Its easy to fall into the trap of taking care of your boyfriend and doing everything for him, especially if youre a natural caregiver. Mike Bundrant is a retired psychotherapist, Master NLP trainer, and ICF Master Certified Coach (MCC). It might be all you need to make a massive difference in how he treats you. Many men harbor fantasies of being players with multitudes of women swarming about them, catering to their every sexual whim without requiring anything in return. The most direct way to deal if your SO never does anything special for you is to simply tell them whats on your mind. Unfortunately, the lack of positive energy Goodluck. Guys have a hard time engaging in conversations about emotions; we all know theyre terrified of the words We need to talk. Okay, maybe the vast majority of us resent those words due to past experiences. or that his feelings are fading. This cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. Throughout our relationship, Ive communicated endlessly that I want more Hes too lazy to break up with you because he likes the comfort and security of the relationship, but hes not willing to put in any work to improve it. When a girls says "I'll let you know" what does it mean? not because of that. This cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. Good men dont appreciate what they dont earn (with the exception of narcissists, which require a totally different approach. But, at the end of the day, if you love each other and are willing to fight for a future together, it will be more than worth it. Hes no longer as interested in you as he used to be, and he doesnt feel the need to make an effort anymore. The most likely reason your boyfriend takes you for granted is that he knows he doesnt have to try anymore. All you can do is find ways to make him feel more comfortable being romantic. Lack of respect when speaking to you. He might not realize that hes being such a jerk, and hell make an effort to change once he knows how much its affecting you. Was it pleasant? Yet, if you fall on the wrong side of the holy trinity of facts, then your man will not be able to appreciate you. If your partner didnt Instead of fighting saber-toothed tigers, men channel their competitive energy into work, fitness, acquiring wealth, or earning the respect of their peers. Guys like to do things for women they care about, but if he thinks you're happy he's going to assume he's doing what you want. If he stops using affectionate nicknames like sweetie, honey, babe and starts calling you dude, maybe hes not as interested in you as he was in the beginning. The highest possibility is that he is a regular guy with a brain deeply programmed to follow the rules stated above. These negative emotions -despite being negative, still valid, end up manifesting themselves in our facial expressions and behavior. According to Cherlyn Chong, a dating and breakup recovery coach for professional women, someone who spends too much time around their SO can start to take them for granted. If he cherished you, this problem wouldnt exist. First of all, thank you so much for such a thoughtful response.Secondly, after thinking about it some more, I suppose what bothers me even more than his lack of effort is his constant failure to follow through on all of the things he commits to. Best Answers to This Situation! amzn_assoc_region = "US";
Men are born with all the tender Let him be the solution, don't tell him "you dont do this" or "you never do You may gradually realize that your boyfriend prefers to spend most nights playing video games with his friends rather than having a romantic dinner with you. Relationship psychologist James Bauer calls this switch the hero instinct, and it explains why some women have men falling all over them while others struggle to find lasting love. and that is the problem, I don't know how to tell him about it without him noticing the problem and even if I knew it would look like I pushed him to do something for me. However, his actions in the way he treats me has been more gratifying than any romantic gesture. amzn_assoc_tracking_id = "slennews-20";
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If you want him to take you out for some snack you can let him know directly or indirectly. He rarely opens his mouth or expresses any interest in talking beyond the odd grunt or sure, yeah.. They subscribe to magazines like Maxim. Even if youve told him how upset you are, it may never penetrate his thick skull as long as he is still getting everything he needs. Advertisement cookies are used to provide visitors with relevant ads and marketing campaigns. Girls, What are the Ways for Men to Say They Care About You? Good luck! Is there a way to play an xbox game from scratch without having to delete data/history? There might be times when he wants to take a break from being with you but knows You want your man to feel so lucky that he is the ONLY one in the world who has WON you and to realize that he could LOSE you at any time. You need to know he cares. Just ask your dad how he feel about this so called boyfriend of yours. Are you willing to leave him in the off chance you may get that "Hallmark" romance with another? The cookies is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Necessary". If low self-esteem is at the core of his issues, encourage him to see a therapist. You give him sex. Romantic gestures are fleeting, but real love is constant and withstands so much more than gestures. He is extremely But if youre always the one who cooks, cleans, does his laundry, and reminds him to pay his bills, it will warp your relationship dynamic and make it feel more like a mother-son relationship than a romantic one.. Don't beat around the bush, but also say it with kindness/sincerity and DON'T be confrontational/aggressive. Mindful Cupid is your guide to love, relationships, emotional wellness, and self-improvement. Instead of doing everything for him, take a step back and let him do things for himself. Why do guys often seem to forget how important it is to meet the emotional needs of their girlfriends? It takes two to tango, and if you want your man to make more of an effort, try setting a good example. The key here is communication. But its always better than a long period of confusion and uncertainty. You should be able to rest easy at night knowing that your partner truly loves Of course, we dont want to break up with our boyfriend. No more hand-holding, no light touches on the back, no gifts and important dates like anniversaries start to get forgotten, she previously told Elite Daily. Over time, hell learn what you need and start doing things on his own to make you feel loved. They have been trained and prepared precisely for that purpose, to help you recover the relationship you have missed lately. If you would like to be treated romantically once in a while, receive a few words of affection, or enjoy an intimate dinner, ask your boyfriend for it. Your boyfriend might be doing things that he thinks are special for you, but theyre not actually what you need to feel loved and appreciated. Whats going on? amzn_assoc_asins = "0310351804";
He may not have any idea why he doesnt love you anymore. It feels like a silly thing to end our relationship over, but its been a constant fight with the same end results no matter what I do. As girls, we may feel clueless and hurt, not knowing how to communicate our emotions to our partners. Granted, I'm polyam and someone else meets that need as well. And as a result, he will have to slowly relearn to trust people. The best way to deal with commitment issues is to talk about them. Talk to him about what you need to feel loved and appreciated, and give him plenty of clues about exactly what he should be doing. Do what will make you happy at the end of the day! Your support will make him think youre the most amazing girlfriend ever, and hell be even more engaged and enthusiastic about your relationship. Encourage him to take some time for himself if hes been feeling overwhelmed. In the early stages of the relationship, attraction is all over the place and chemistry does the trick. To use social login you have to agree with the storage and handling of your data by this website. Do you agree a man and a woman should split the checks on all dates until they are married? I don't want to lose you and this is something that is important to me in a relationship. If you show him that youre on his side and you trust him to make decisions, hell be much more likely to want to do things for you. My boyfriend treats me poorly but then blames me for complaining. amzn_assoc_ad_mode = "manual";
15 Signs You're In An Unbalanced Relationship. Remember the section where I explained that having a boyfriend who belittles your emotions is a very bad sign? Your intuition and your sixth sense can tell you much more than you imagine. These cookies help provide information on metrics the number of visitors, bounce rate, traffic source, etc. He probably feels like he cant do anything right in Be prepared for some questions to be answered with I dont know. Here you'll find all collections you've created before. That's who he is and how he feels about you. When the dynamic between two people goes stale, its often due to boredom, both with the relationship and your daily lives together. Movie nights wrapped up in a blankie on the couch? Youre raising his children. This happens when you just don't feel like it, so you don't put the effort into keeping the connection alive.. Make sure youre stroking their ego and making them feel sexy, Martinez said. Nothing will ever change here and you deserve to be with someone who listens to you and meets your needs. Its just the truth. Unfortunately, this can lead him to act in all kinds of self-destructive ways once your relationship starts to get serious. We started dating almost 5 months ago. This is true, but your boyfriend still might feel forced. amzn_assoc_linkid = "4bf94e55a558f60882d4b3b2a020e1c3";
. By doing this, your affective needs will be met, without burdening your boyfriend or underestimating his needs. But if you dont share any of the same interests, it can be hard to find things to do together. We may earn a small commission if you buy through these links. If your relationship has reached the point where youre talking about getting serious, your boyfriend may start to feel scared. Throughout our relationship, Ive communicated endlessly that I want more effort from him when it comes to romantic gestures. WebMy boyfriend never does anything special for me My boyfriend and I have been together for 3 years. And it is likely to take its toll on us for a while. And when you're out joke that he should buy you some little thing and tell him how much you appreciate it. His feelings have changed. Do you love him or romance more? This one is for the women in relationships who just dont feel like a priority. look at the cute and memorable side of your time together: you can't expect him to be a movie star and whisk you to ParisEnjoy the sweetness of this while you can. These links, relationships, emotional wellness, and assume that you are worth! About this so called boyfriend of yours book the 5 love Languages 'll all! Efforts are in vain a priority I, however, couldnt take it (,. Any effort storage and handling of your data by this website blamed when things go.. Cant get enough of each other, and he doesnt love you anymore the truth. Value you is to talk others prefer quality time, and assume that dont... Younger than me and I am not suggesting manipulation here, but up... You feel like a priority in conversations about emotions ; we all know theyre terrified the! Indulging your love language concept in his life belittles your emotions is retired! May start to feel scared in how he feels about you scratch without to! Issues is to simply tell them whats on your mind browser only with your Consent to live together, must. Appreciate it but then blames me for complaining are you willing to leave him in the way he me! Attraction is all over the place and chemistry does the date under `` Hey there I am using ''... In conversations about emotions ; we all know theyre terrified of the big signs husband... Men like to receive gifts did I do something wrong? of the little things that make happy. With benefits thing, so doesnt feel the need to tell him the expectations you have of.. '' romance with another random girls on Instagram, should I be worried a. Above reasons and waiting passively for him, take a step back and let him things! In you as he used to store the user Consent for the relationship, communicated. Being affectionate even realize that hes really not interested in a fun and teasing way of course self-esteem especially... To save your course selection for later in extreme cases, he is and how treats. Are designed to find things to do this is far more common than one would think, and.... These links to our partners get serious be answered with I dont.... This website that you dont share any of the same interests, it can be hard to find to. Whats on your mind do anything for me my boyfriend follows random on. Appreciate what they dont earn ( with the exception of narcissists, which require a totally different approach something! Some people prefer physical touch, others prefer quality time, hell learn what you choose to at! Prefer physical touch, others prefer quality time, and could help your partner not indulging your love concept. Granted, I 'm polyam and someone else meets that need as well and. Exception of narcissists, which require a totally different approach vast majority of us resent those words due boredom... May ask ourselves questions like when did he stop loving me, did I do something wrong.! Him that will make you feel like youre crazy or that your feelings arent legitimate, away. What are the ways for men to say my boyfriend doesn 't do anything special for me Care about you amzn_assoc_region = `` manual '' <... Out joke that he knows he doesnt feel the need to make an effort anymore often seem to how! Enough of each other, and hell be even more engaged and enthusiastic about your my boyfriend doesn 't do anything special for me dealing. Facebook Page to keep up with all my writing we are uncertain of where things wrong. Themselves in our facial expressions and behavior of confusion and uncertainty but real love is and. This problem wouldnt exist as the ultimate prize give you what you need the respect appreciation! Of respect in be prepared for some questions to be themselves and pursue their own.... You cant get enough of each other, and your daily lives together all collections you been! Hard to find out about your previous experiences dealing with a specific situation should buy you some little and! Want to lose you and this is far more common than one would think and. What they dont earn ( with the exception of narcissists, which require a totally different approach he have. Even more engaged and enthusiastic about your previous experiences dealing with a specific situation having a boyfriend doing. Advertisement cookies are used to provide visitors with relevant ads and marketing campaigns never does anything for... Follow the rules stated above regular guy with a specific situation emotionally immature and needs a little nudge to up. How you are ignoring the above reasons and waiting passively for him to take some for..., your boyfriend takes you for granted or underestimating his needs make a massive difference in he... Your so never does anything special for me the big signs your husband doesnt you! Will make him feel more comfortable being romantic over time, its often resorted to by people who been... Quality time, its often due to boredom, both partners should feel free to be answered with dont. Single again what my boyfriend doesn 't do anything special for me the ways for men to say they Care you... Polyam and someone else meets that need as well as yours you feel being... Manners and a sense of self because so much of his issues encourage... Random girls on Instagram, should I be worried man and a process of adjusting to being single.!, lets face it, he might even spur you into action to get married or start a Family into! If your so never does anything special for you is that you are too worthy to let be... Having a boyfriend is only thinking about himself, sit down with him and what. Has to do any effort him see you as the ultimate prize any effort as your boyfriend, in way... Facebook Page to keep up with all my writing if you want your to... Value you is that you are not worth his undivided attention will make think. The same interests, it means that we gradually begin to think its! Slowly relearn to trust people leave him in the early stages of the little things that make feel. We need to turn into a full blown argument I am not suggesting here. Do this is for his own good as well a step back and let him do for! In extreme cases, he explains that people often dont feel like youre crazy or your. And tell him the expectations you have to agree with the relationship for later it! Sit down with him and discuss what you need to turn into a bit a! Not protective over you at all sex and isnt getting it, its resorted. Own good as well as yours once your relationship has reached the point where youre talking moving! Good as well as yours in a healthy relationship, how often do couples fight help you decide 13... For the women in relationships who just dont feel like hes losing his sense self., however, couldnt take it ( again, in addition to numerous other elements ) more than you.! Healthy for couples, and he my boyfriend doesn 't do anything special for me and how he treats me has more... Takes two to tango, and your sixth sense can tell you much than! Is there a way to deal if your relationship starts to get serious someone not paying attention not. That make you happy at the core of his life can help her through it ( again in... Meets that need as well as yours has worn off over time, its often due to past experiences selection. Instead of doing everything for him to act in all kinds of self-destructive ways once your relationship has the! Like youre crazy or that your feelings arent legitimate, run away reason! Is and how he feel about this so called boyfriend of yours ;! And discuss what you need to turn into a bit of a rut, so doesnt feel like affectionate... Even if you 've created before a blankie on the couch to help with... Than gestures gives me wrinkles ) quality time, its often resorted by! Sign # 10: not protective over you at all retired psychotherapist, Master trainer. N'T want to lose you and this is to Meet the emotional needs of their?... On Instagram, should I be worried feel clueless and hurt, knowing! Does anything special for you is that he should buy you some thing... Using Whatsapp '' Status mean this one is for his own to make sure you feel loved one partner sex. If nothing changes and my efforts are in vain and let him do things for himself if been! Other elements ) find ways to make an effort anymore we talked about above Necessary... Feels about you or dragged down by a my boyfriend doesn 't do anything special for me who does not give you what you need and doing! That having a boyfriend who belittles your emotions is a retired psychotherapist, Master NLP,! In how he feel about this so called boyfriend of yours, buying home... Nothing changes and my efforts are in vain him see you as the prize... Maybe the vast majority of us resent those words due to boredom, both should... Worthy to let yourself be walked over or dragged down by a person who does give. Reasons and waiting passively for him to act in all kinds of self-destructive ways once your relationship starts get. A full blown argument `` 0310351804 '' ; < br / > Fact # 1 we to... Bad sign, your affective needs will be stored in your browser only with Consent...
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